stuff from ages ago

hey :)
this is a diary entry i made ages ago, thought you might like to read it

11/02/10


Dear Diary,



I’m so fucking pissed off. I’m in fourth year I’m meant to be having fun and living a little but all I seem to do is school and volunteer work. I have not been out and having fun since the day my junior cert ended or I haven’t been out at a disco since 2008. The one time I ask to do some and the one time I want to go out, I have to go fucking bag-packing and even if I didn’t go there’s no one to bring me. All I want to do is cry. I never have any fun in my life; I mean for god sake give me a break. Whenever I want something in my life or I’m close to doing something I want to do it gets taken away from me. I’m nearly 16 and I have never had a boyfriend and I never will cause I am a fat, ugly no social life. Sometimes I just feel so depressed like all I want to do is lie down and cry, I act like I’m fine but I’m really not. I am sick and tired of people telling me how good I am to be giving up my time to help out in clubs and how great I am in doing so well in school but what about my life? I mean I should be going out with friends, going to town or to the liffey valley. It’s sad to say this but not a week goes by when I don’t think of committing suicide, it would just be so much easier, but then I think of my family and friends once again not putting my own happiness first. Sometimes I wish I could just end it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Hating Life ♥

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